Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Case of Hopelessness

The other day, my friend and I were talking about how Rico Yan and Marky Cielo died. It was what had inspired me to make this post (kelangan talagang ilagay ko pa e no?)

Suicide is something that very few people take seriously. I know because I once had office mates who laughed out aloud (as in!) when I told them that suicidal hints (parinig) should be taken seriously. Bakit sila natawa? Because their line of thinking was, bakit ka pa magpapaalam if magpapakamatay ka na? You know why I got incensed by that kind of thinking? Because one of them was a nurse and the other one was an ex-teacher.

If you know someone who has suicidal tendencies, read on:
  1. Listen. If someone tells you that they would like to commit suicide, take them seriously. Keep in mind that suicide is a cry for help. Listen and try to understand what the person is saying.
  2. Never, ever say to a suicidal person, "yun lang papakamatay ka na?". You are not in his or her shoes. You don't know what that person is going through right now. To you, his or her problem may sound petty but for him, it could mean the world.
  3. Show your support, not for the suicide but for the person. Ang mga suicidal na tao ay naging ganon dahil feeling nila wala nang solution ang problema nila. Don't try to solve the problem for them either. Just show the person that you are not judging him or her, that you believe he/she still has the power to find a different solution. Be careful with the way you form your sentences. Suicidal people are very emotional at this point and may take your opinion the other way.
  4. If that person is already on the verge of a suicide attempt, do not leave him/her alone. Remove any object that he/she might use to commit suicide.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, read on:

  1. Having suicidal thoughts does not make you a bad person. Very few suicidal persons really want to die. Majority of them just feel that they have no other option left and that their problem is more than what they could handle.
  2. Find someone who could listen to you without judging you - a very close friend, a relative or a counselor.
  3. Be with people who have an upbeat personality. Surround yourself with people who are not depressed or problematic.
  4. Go out in the sun. Some people experience a sense of relief when they are able to get enough sunlight.
  5. Prayer, in whatever form, helps. Things happen for a reason.

Suicide Warning Signs

1. The probability of suicide usually coincides with the following:

  • Death or terminal illness of relative or friend
  • Divorce, separation, broken relationship, stress on family
  • Loss of health (real or imaginary)
  • Loss of job, home, money, status, self-esteem, personal security
  • Alcohol or drug abuse
  • Depression. In the young depression may be masked by hyperactivity or acting out behavior. In the elderly it may be incorrectly attributed to the natural effects of aging
  • Depression that seems to quickly disappear for no apparent reason is cause for concern
  • The early stages of recovery from depression can be a high risk period. Recent studies have associated anxiety disorders with increased risk for attempted suicide.

2. People who have tried committing suicide before are most likely to do it again.

3. Suicidal people usually make their plans known to other people.

4. People who are suffering from a bout of depression are likely to commit suicide.

5. Suicidal people usually express feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. They usually feel worthless and are ashamed of themselves.

6. They usually show signs of decline in performance that could, later on, lead to isolation.

7. They usually give out ambiguous statements like "You don't have to worry about me anymore".

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  1. this is one sensible post, thanks for the article. malaking tulong to sa mga mambabasa kasi halos lahat ng tao dumadating sa point na nagiisip kung ano pa ba silbi ng buhay

  2. thanks for dropping by...

    nakakalungkot din minsan isipin na may ang stigma ng suicide ay hinde pa rin nawawala...maaring malagpasan po ang suicidal thoughts pero pwedeng ang sasabihin din nang ibang tao ang mag-udyok sa'yo sa panibagong cycle na naman ng suicidal thoughts

    nakakalungkot din isipin na, kung lahat lang sana ng tao ay marunong makinig, baka walang makaisip magpakamatay

  3. he he he….dati na akong nag isip namagpaktiwakal…kaso nga lang..masasaktana ko e..ahahahhaa….kaya wag nalang..mahal ang magpalibing no!ahahha..

    pero anyway, ako parati ang tinatakbuhan ng mga kaibigan ko. Gaya ng sabi mo. Maghanap ka ng tulong sa mga taong masasaya….kaya pala wala pa akong kaibigan na nagpatiwakal.

  4. naks naman maldito! isa ka palang clown...jowk!

    tama yan, maging sandalan ka...kokonti na lang ang mga taong masasandalan ngaun e

  5. hehe..emo ang madalas mag suicide as in kahit may kalawang ang blade go lang sila hehe..:)
    emo nga naman oh..
    tama dapat may mga kasama ka ring clown isa sa tropa mo para malibang ka at di na isipin ang suicide..mahal nga naman magpalibing at ang lupa..naku..bakit nga ba nag patiwakal ung 2 as\rtistang un...sabi bangungot pero nasa sahig nung makita hehe

  6. alam mo ba, ayon sa mga pag-aaral ang mga taong pinakamalakas tumawa ay siyang may pinakamabigat na problema?

    kaya mahirap din ang sobrang clown. Ang importante lang naman e may makikinig

  7. ate hehe..nakuha mo kung ano ang nararamdaman ko..
    salamat naiiyak ako pramis totoo..ang hirap din talagang maging clown nakatago sa maskara ang totoong ako ehhe..:)
    tawa na lang tayo ulit samahan mo ko..wala ng iyakan..:)magiging muta ksi pag natuyo hehe..:)

  8. I have a cousin who comitted suicide three years ago, until now naiisip ko pa din na he wouldn't have done that kung hinde sya iniwan ng nanay ko, my mom thought he's okay na kaya umuwe na sya sa bahay namen, a few minutes after that, nagbigti na sya.. :(

    Months before that, I knew he would commit suicide, I knew but I never made a move, I never tried to talk to him, I never did anything. And I felt guily when he died.

    Well, we all learn from our mistakes, thanks for sharing this, Ate Rhona.. :)

  9. thanks joycee...but don't blame yourself too much...some things are just beyond our control. Let's just pray that your cousin's soul finds peace