The Case of Hopelessness

The other day, my friend and I were talking about how Rico Yan and Marky Cielo died. It was what had inspired me to make this post (kelangan talagang ilagay ko pa e no?)

Suicide is something that very few people take seriously. I know because I once had office mates who laughed out aloud (as in!) when I told them that suicidal hints (parinig) should be taken seriously. Bakit sila natawa? Because their line of thinking was, bakit ka pa magpapaalam if magpapakamatay ka na? You know why I got incensed by that kind of thinking? Because one of them was a nurse and the other one was an ex-teacher.

If you know someone who has suicidal tendencies, read on:

1. Listen. If someone tells you that they would like to commit suicide, take them seriously. Keep in mind that suicide is a cry for help. Listen and try to understand what the person is saying.
2. Never, ever say to a suicidal person, "yun lang papakamatay ka na?". You are not in his or her shoes. You don't know what that person is going through right now. To you, his or her problem may sound petty but for him, it could mean the world.
3. Show your support, not for the suicide but for the person. Ang mga suicidal na tao ay naging ganon dahil feeling nila wala nang solution ang problema nila. Don't try to solve the problem for them either. Just show the person that you are not judging him or her, that you believe he/she still has the power to find a different solution. Be careful with the way you form your sentences. Suicidal people are very emotional at this point and may take your opinion the other way.
4. If that person is already on the verge of a suicide attempt, do not leave him/her alone. Remove any object that he/she might use to commit suicide.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, read on:

1. Having suicidal thoughts does not make you a bad person. Very few suicidal persons really want to die. Majority of them just feel that they have no other option left and that their problem is more than what they could handle.
2. Find someone who could listen to you without judging you - a very close friend, a relative or a counselor.
3. Be with people who have an upbeat personality. Surround yourself with people who are not depressed or problematic.
4. Go out in the sun. Some people experience a sense of relief when they are able to get enough sunlight.
5. Prayer, in whatever form, helps. Things happen for a reason.

Suicide Warning Signs

1. The probability of suicide usually coincides with the following:

• Death or terminal illness of relative or friend
• Divorce, separation, broken relationship, stress on family
• Loss of health (real or imaginary)
• Loss of job, home, money, status, self-esteem, personal security
• Alcohol or drug abuse
• Depression. In the young depression may be masked by hyperactivity or acting out behavior. In the elderly it may be incorrectly attributed to the natural effects of aging
• Depression that seems to quickly disappear for no apparent reason is cause for concern
• The early stages of recovery from depression can be a high risk period. Recent studies have associated anxiety disorders with increased risk for attempted suicide.

2. People who have tried committing suicide before are most likely to do it again.

3. Suicidal people usually make their plans known to other people.

4. People who are suffering from a bout of depression are likely to commit suicide.

5. Suicidal people usually express feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. They usually feel worthless and are ashamed of themselves.

6. They usually show signs of decline in performance that could, later on, lead to isolation.

7. They usually give out ambiguous statements like "You don't have to worry about me anymore".

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